Life is short. People everywhere. What is the meaning? Someone told me, recently, “a man is not in his prime till he is 50.” He was quoting someone else. This same person then asked me, “your not ready to be married, are you?” At the time I couldn’t answer. No, I’m not because I don’t have anyone to marry. But, if someone had come along and we were at that point, all other things the same, then yes I would be married. But that’s not the point. The point is no one has come along, and my time here at LeTourneau is coming to an end.
I used to be enthralled by the idea of love and a life long marriage. What girl isn’t? It was the number one thing on my list of things I wanted most out of life. Now, I suddenly find it absent. I still hope to be married and to have a family… someday. But not today or even tomorrow. So many things: weddings I’m in, seeing brides all around, the state of marriage in this country today. It’s all too much. When you start reading the Bible and praying powerful prayers God will change you. it was hardly less than six months ago, I told Lydia, “I really want a boyfriend, so bad it hurts.” And now I”m thinking, why not wait until I’m 50? So many things I wouldn’t have to worry about.
Wow! That all came spilling out. I don’t think I even got to say it all. But now I have forgotten. I just find myself in a place of peace. Things are crazy and hectic, but I’m still at peace. I love people, I need to work on my social skills, but I just want to spend the next 20 years meeting people. My parents are only friends with each other. I find this so sad. I want more for them I want more for me. I have images running through my head of parties or gathering where I’m just surrounded by a good time and good people and good conversation. The is will not be easy to find, but I found it here at LeTourneau. I believe it’s out there. I believe it exists in Wichita, and who know what’s after that? Practically anything.