I was in the machine tool lab till 6 last night. As a result I slept all day, and now here I am up late again. Moving through my thoughts, processing God’s voice and my situation. The situation I find myself it is no accident. God’s voice is real to me, in a book, in a song, in a still small voice. He says when I ask for something and believe, nothing is impossible. I can even throw a mountain into the sea. God answers my prayers everyday. He has also said no. I have asked for something big. Something wonderful and scary. Something amazing and lofty. I deserve nothing, this is nothing new. I am God’s and he is what makes me worthy of any blessing. I guess I just don’t know what happens if I believe and have faith, and it doesn’t happen. Then what? Did I not have enough faith, or did I hear God wrong? How will that effect my relationship with God? Will I ever be able to pray for anything big again? But, these questions show doubt. If I just believe that it will happen, then they are a moot point. Most of this is so out of my hands anyway. It’s not what do I do, but how do I respond. Wisdom is key. I refuse to let the outcome of this affect my relationship with my unchanging God. With this being said, I have nothing to lose by believing in the outcome of my prayer. God is first and everything. I will only come out the other side closer to him.
